24/01/2007
Attention: Hey people I am back!!
WAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHZ~~~~~
Seldom will you see me online because I am so busy with my stuff.
Muhahaz. More things come up, therefore I be more busy. =>
BM test been postpone again,.to Monday. Repeatedly we waited.
Everyone praying hard that we get a chance to change the examiner which seem impossible. May god bless us all and let us pass successfully. Haiz.
There no other way but to try our very best.
You are just a shit examiner lousy examiner.
Bleah *_***
All people around me have been encouraging me also moving on with me. Telling me to give my best and be sure I can do it. I want to pass to but hoping my hand work along with me. I don’t want to disappoint you guys.
Thanks for encouraging me all along. ‘Xie xie ni men’.
Sunny Boy was even willing to be my victim during test so I can tow faster.
Appreciate you help to let me practice on you.
Everyone is helping me boosting my energy and level of ‘xing xin’.
Don’t know if you guys will read this but I want to say out loud
‘Xie xie ni men’.
I am so lucky to have great friends around isn’t that so?
Oh ya, not forgetting my darling. He stops me from swimming repeatedly, hurt him lots when my shoulder is nearly dropping, the pain killing me and there I am swimming. Despite of my stubbornness, he still stands by me.
Stuboorn and wildness me.
Noone will understand.
The feeling of swimming, the passion one’s have for swimming, the feeling of in water swimming, all these is enough to put the pain away. But of course after which the pain is unbearable, that the consequence that I will have to bear. But hahahz..worth it.
It jus like you never understand the pain our mother gone through when giving birth to us unless you yourself give birth. ( to female). When you experience yourself then you will know how wonderful is you mum. Else you will never understand. By saying you will feel it and when you gone through it, it such a differences.
Why do I say that?
Feeling flow into me.
Charlotte was born on Tuesday. Coach me and 3 other swim mate went to visit pei pei and kc. The joy in them was like un- describable. Sit there and chat with them for 2-3 hours. Hearing them saying their experience in labor and the how pain it was when in labour. We view those photo that K C took through the whole process. Seeing the wife screaming like hell and the pain she going through he cried. It really tough.
Well all these are words from them, we wouldn’t know the pain, but one thing we know for sure is that is really hurts. She couldn’t sit on lie on bed still, she was in pain. The vein on her face pop out and she still have to carry the big stomach around that have yet to so call “dissolve”.
Great mother. All these was all worth it.
I had a chance to carry charlotte. She weigh 2.5kgs soooo small.
Simply love her mouth. Such a cute little baby.
Her eye are so small that it hardly open.
Wahahaz.. I was so excited when she came out to this world.
Her birthday date is the same as mine!! Wahahahz..
Imagine when she is 21 year old I am like 42 year old …..whoo~ by then I am so old.
Where will I be?
What wil I be doing?
Throughout these conversation and experience, I really learnt of things.
Boy say I have change. I have grown up.
My friends told me the things I do is diff, words from me is diff too. I have grow up doing what adult should do.
Is it so? I am not sure myself.
“Friends are just like a mirror to you. They reflect to you.
We will never be able to see it for our self. “
Spend my weekend working.
Tutoring. Training.
My everyday is so packed up, but basically all of the small stuff.
This was somehow my schedule for last wk.
Monday Study theory for BM.
Tuesday home studying for lifesaver training
Wednesday Lifesaver training
Thursday pei mummy to NTUC then wnet out to jog
Friday Lifesaver training
Saturday work till 4pm. Study/ swim then meet up with boy at 8pm till late.
Sunday at ECP cycle run study for theory then slack around shop and go home. Else I be working at downtown
or teaching Regina tution at jurong.
29/1/2007
Its ZZ birthday today.
A year ago we will celebrating at suntec sky garden a Vegetarian restaurant.
Order a cake which the bakery bake wrongly.
Last year we will discuss how are we going to celebrate for him this year.
Things happen. Just a message to greet him Happy Birthday that’s all.
That day when I was bringing sister out shopping, he suddenly question me “ Jie where is ZZ why he aren’t around? Isn’t he going to join us for shopping?”
I was stunned.
Kind of miss shopping with him. Hanging out like we use to be..
30/1/2007 TUESDAY
Haven’t been online for a lot of days nevertheless to say blogging.
Been studying and training.
I am physically and mentally tired.
The moment I am not doing anything I sleep.
I am just extremely tired; I don’t know why.
Went to the doctor on sat. Dressing changed. At home, mummy needs to change for me as well.
Its kind of inconvenience because I can’t move around as I wish. When I turn my head, the whole body turns as well.
Meet up the NP people on Saturday night. They are still as indecisive as ever. Walk here n there not knowing what to eat. Why cant they think plan of what they going to do first?
Haiz.everyhting went wrong.
We promise to stay together even after we graduate.
We promise to stand hand in hand keep in touch, meet up often during weekend.
We agree to go k box go buffet and stuff, but did we?
Maybe when certain things happen it really affect us. Affect everything.
I leave an hour later. I chose to remain silent and walk away slowly.
Some things are just so clear.
Human beings made it so clear to us that we understand it even without any explanations.
Wth I am talking. Nvm. Don’t wants to talk into the right points.
Went shopping on Saturday with Regina. I brought a shirt and a top. Wanted to to buy bra but haiz. just because of my hand I cant try on any clothes.Hahaz~
Totally crazy
It totally terrible. My right hand is like working all the way throughout the whole day.
Took my test last night. Passed the theory but failed the practical. Totally suck up.
I told myself I wouldn’t cry in front of the examiner, I made it.
Tear still rolled down when everything ended. but not as much as the previous time.
Just feel so unfair.
I got to wait for another month before the test commence again.
Saying I am not upset or disappointed its just lying.
Everyone encouraging me. I will train harder making sure I pass it the next time.
------
Stupid asshole in office think that he is so great that he can tell dad everything thinking that dad will come scold me.
Stupid asshole you are just a useless idiot.
Blankness brain. Everyone hates you to the core. Stop acting pathetic coz no one cares no one bothers about you too.
You are just nothing a loser. Eat sleep laze around is all you know. Asshole. Brainless. Idiot. Wtf.
I find all way to get rid of you.
4 more days to doctor.
2 week later MIR scan.
3 week later doctor appointment again.
How much money I have thrown into treatments & etc.
How much time and trips I have made to TTSH.
I am so tired. Can someone help?
Going to meet Big bear tonight. It been so long since I met up with him. Wahahahaz.
Going to get my 21st birthday present, that is already rotting in his room.
Is there any fungus growing on it? =>
WAHAHAHZ.
~~
I am just a sentimental and emotional person.
I mustn’t let emotional take over me. Mustn’t let it control me.
I be myself; noone can over take me.
I fall I stand and move on.
~~Love
Where were you when skies were grey
1/30/2007 10:41:00 PM <3
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