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I love you?/ Saturday
| Blog on 19-09-2006 babysit on sat.visited aunt on sat. darkness fillder her eyes . she couldnt do anytin but to just lie on bed. 9 needles was being poked on her hand. all the stupid doctor. jus a needle u need to poke like 4,5 time to get the nerves. not ya hand doenst matter right? can you think of the patient pain and the brusies caused afterwhich? she is the cloest aunt that i share my happniess and sadness with. she will teach me what is life and how to deal with all kind of pple.telling me how impt it is to handle pple. somehow im stupid, i cant master it yet. although she cant see anyting but still she kept a very happy mood. nothing could bother her at all. even if the sky drop she treat it as a blanket and cover herself. (from chinese). always keeping herself happy and no worry no stress. i m learning..trying veyr hard to learn. to deal with all kind of pple. to deal with my temper and mood.i am trying to be neutral. be like other. changin...can be done..yea can be done..i will... health is indeed very important.imagine darkness fills ya eye u cant c anytin..in ya world everything is in darkness. feeling so lost.. for those out there, please takecare of ya self. and stop saying stupid things like nevermind la..wouldnt happen because you never know. when it happen everything is far too late. so tkcare before anytin happen. 10more days to TTSH... 21-9-2006 i envy her so much. seeing how her friends and dear gave her the birthday surprisesS during dinner at a hotel.seeing how happy she was; her friends and boyfriend put in much effort to surprise her.every year they never failed to celebrate for her, giving her all kind of surprisesS.their friendship is so well build...how i wish i can friends like this...how i wish every year i could like her so blessed. too bad im nt born like her. im not well liked by so many pple; not as pretty not as rich.. this year, i didnt celebrate yc birthday for him. im so sorry. on his birthday, i was out doing road cycling...from ECP to kallang-city hall-bugis-orchard-concourse-suntec and then all the way back. i was so proud of myself. i was safe back hahaz. one time doing road cycling so it was quite a "BIG" things for me...i was too tired..too tired to ask the rest out too tired of their rejection. so might as well dont come out. its the thought that matter i guess. it always take two hands to clap; i get so tired when i keep putting in so much effort..im sorry! not that i din want to celebrate for u but.....haiz...i always want my fren to have a memorable birthday but this year everything turn wrong..i think im the one who have turn Worng. someting wrong with me. no mood to do anytin. even a birthday card i can tk week to do compare to the past i took like 2, 3 hours to finish it.everyday trianing sswim swim swim..hse work hse work computer online....slp slp...wore out totally wore out.. why am i doing this? to prove i m strong? to prove i m fit? or to fill myself with busyniess and nt think about the rest of stuff. been sick for a week. my eye hurts. Mr cough came and look for me. bring his sister Flu. brother Fever, grandmother sore thorat to visit me. my whole body aching.worse of all is that they made me so sleepy. i hardly can open my eye and concentrate on my work. haiz~ told some friends about my chalet. some said they have camp. some say they havign exam..some say....some say....some say..haiz. im prepared for the worst. WORSt.... why no earth cant i have some true friends like other do?? ---- thrice or five time a week i will passed by the MRt. i could see the image of me and him holding our hand happily walking. in the past, everywkend we will pass by that mrt and go for breakfast. he will fetch me from mrt to his house.did i let go??i guess not really. the feeling came flowing back to me.. i hate you Feeling.. why why. he is leaving in another 6 days. he been going USA for 2 years. 2 years...2 years he been away. we wouldnt be able to keep in touch. the sms i send him he wouldnt be able to read it. 'i wouldnt be able to meet him when i call him up. he couldnt be able to guide me when i am lost around his area. this is a good thing? did all this happen to let me let go? can soomeone tell mi what to do ..i no longer tear coz i guess it has dry up but my heart hurts. really hurts.. can i have a boy pleasE? to dote on me?i been very blessed i guess. in the past every ex of mine dote on me lotsa. they drive me to whereever i want to go. they give me whatever i want. being with them i have nothing to fear. they takecare of my every single details. but haiz. can i have a boy back and have the happy feeling again? i hate to be alone. --- i miss school. i miss NP.i miss my lecturer. i miss bubble tea. i miss the laughter we had at Midac... i miss those times when SM scold me on how stubborn am i .. when YC help me rush my project, enocurage me.when they put mi n WX together when WL try to cheer me up. when A laugh on the time i wear skirt. ...so many things..nowdays we are like stranger. we seldom keep in touch. no longer like before. the distance is dirfting further and further. i hate this but i have to accept this fact. Come'on yuehui you have to grow up and accept things that is around you. you cant except thing to be always like that..NONO#@!^&*%...but why other pple can stay on like this for soooo many years. why not me?nvm. thats my life..accept it.. gonna end here. hahaz.~ once i blog i will talk no stop. once i dont blog i will dont blog for a few donkey days. l0lz..=)Weird..... -compilation results in such a long blog- |
Where were you when skies were grey
9/16/2006 11:14:00 PM <3