9th June 2006
**blogged on Friday
So fed up.
I guess someday I might just die of heart attack.
The phone rang. Mummy called.
She called at the ring time ma. I just need someone to talk to.
However…I promise myself not to tell mummy any more secret because she betray me so many times. I distrust her. Still I went back to her. She is my mother. My only mother. Ended up I told her what happen what going on. I cannot help it.
I have been crying for a few days le. My eye is as sore as a goldfish. My head is hurting me. My heart is pounding faster and faster.
I am dying soon...
Feel better when I talk things out.
I told her what I think. She tried to sort out things. She tries to explain things to me.
Every time she tells me the same things. I am so tired mummy. You gave me empty promise repeatedly, ended me with disappointed and hurt. Each time you promise me that thing would be better would not go on like this but still…
I told myself not to trust you anymore... Nevertheless, ended up telling all these stuff again.
This time round, I told mummy that if by the end of this year things were still the same, I would take my leave.
Giving myself also giving other a chance this time round.
I will leave find my own world.
I am going to work like hell. Going to earn lot of money.
I am going back as usual take up as many work as I can.
Have to save more and meet my target. I am nearly there...
I am going to make it there...
My life. Training…working...
Training working...
Training working...
I am marry to training...
Marry to work...
Have to earn a lot
Saw a bike accident yesterday. The victim was just in front of me where I could totally view him. He was unconscious.
I hate this feeling. I hate bike. I hate bike accident, which took away my friends life.
I hate it... I hate it...
I used to love bike.
The feeling on the bike is so cool.
Contradicting feeling.
I cannot decline that I don’t love bike now.
However, when memories hit me. It so pain!
Been rather down. Uncle Ng trying to cheer me up.
Out of the sudden, he shouted, “hey the new staff is only 44 year old yet to get married. You have chance lei.”
I was like stunned. Lolz... Too old le la. I old uncle ha-ha...
He then replied, “why not you go post ya pics on the newspaper and see who wants you la.”
Ha-ha funny uncle. He was telling me about his kids. So naughty and stuff. l0lz. Sometime it blessed to have a family and own kids.
Wahahahaz.
Gonna get back to work. I wouldn’t let that idiot fellow “siao zhang”.
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Fifth of June 2006
**blogged on Monday
My weekend flew away...
Therefore, c0ol to meet most of my poly mate in MOS.
Felt great to meet them this time round because most that din turn out in out usual outing turn up.
Happy to see them although sometime hate it when they promise to be there at the outing yet they did not. Whatever…
Club the whole night from 11 till morning.
Not much alcohol taken. We walked from Clarke quay slowly to esplanade and then to Singapore river where the merlion is. Took pictures as we go. I was somewhat drunk therefore; the picture that has me in it sucks...
I know it is somehow the last time we going to meet up because most going university le. The guys are going Ns. No way could we meet up. I appreciate them for turning up on Saturday at least somehow the last meet we will have.
Argh dunno la. If they could put in a bit more effort, we could meet up more often but…
Treasure what ever it given and don’t complain...
When I was drunk (not drunk, just somewhat high) all the problem suddenly came flooding my mind. Hate this feeling it just like the problem are hunting you killing you in your mind. Whereas in the other hand as time goes you dance you drink more, you get so immune, the entire problem seems to go away. I guess some drinker will understand how I feel. The problem was being taken away for the whole night.
Went home at around 6am. Slept throughout the whole morning until three and then went to work. Work greatly sucks with that stupid manger around. She is so fussy. No one likes her. Argh! I am going to tolerate because there are all these kind of people everywhere around the Singapore. I have to learn how to survive with them around.
Didn’t really think about the problem that is happening in office till I woke up this morning finding myself going back office to work.
The problem…problems...sss…Haiz...
No matter what I have to find ways to solve them. Told mummy about it I hope she does help me to solve this problem. At this time of time I have no better option then tell mummy the fact and ask for her help le.
I am hopeless…
I am tired. My eyes are so heavy. 2 more hr to go and I can go ah ma house le…
Go ah ma house take dumpling!
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6th june 2006 **blogged on Tuesday
“Why go cut your hair away?” The first reaction when J saw me.
“Ugly ah?”
“N0 la just that prefer the hairstyle you used to have.”
Lolz. There was once older batch of someone told me if you broke up from a relationship and is very upset about it try go cut your hair and everything will go away as time goes. You will feel much better.
I tried it when I broke up with my ex, Erm how does it feel?
I felt much better just like starting all over again. it is the mentally or the physically I don’t know too. Can try it out and you know.
This time round it isn’t about relationship just that too many things on me. Want to cut away all the unhappiness and carry on. Hoping better things come to me. =)
Just treat it that I am going for a new hairstyle l0. I didn’t cut a lot also just the front hair..
Not very nice but fresh look .ha-ha I am trying to comfort myself.
The rain is here to wash away the unhappiness today. However, came at the wrong timing. We have tons of goods to delivery, better stop so we can get our stock dry to the destination, being done once and for all.
**the train journey seems so long without you by my side...**
Going to go for a run today build up my stamina else tomorrow I be the last again. Don’t want to drag all the people down. I because of me they have to wait for me to return do sit up push up. It so unfair. Haiz. But I already put in my effort .Haiz…ARGH...
** should I give up? Or carry on? My effort seems going down the drain. I don’t seem to have any improvement. H0w? **
Next week is the graduation ceremony; have yet to buy my formal wear. Guess I am going to shop at G2000. one of these days Any one has any discount card, lend me for a day or two please.
I am falling asleep…… Tired!!
Thanks to A and JY thanks guys you guy never failed to bring laughter to my life.
Thanks lotsa. Enjoyed going out with you guys.
7th june 2006 **blogged on Wednesday
I am so bored.
There is no work.
I am falling asleep.
Argh! How I wish I could sleep.
Those things that they are doing I can’t do because I am not into learning that.
I think my work is more to those admin and oversea stock stuff.
Tired. Extremely tired. Why am I so tired?
I slept very early last night le. 1130pm early by half an hour then usual days but still Haiz.
I used to go to bed at 9am whenever I am schooling. Good girl right? Mu-ha-ha-ha.
Sometime I am tired but I dun wan to sleep I just want to rot in front of the computer and stay there. Stupid right?
Funny right?
However at times I am so tired that I will just fall asleep on the computer table.
Some people will say if tired go to bed and sleep l0 isn’t it? I didn’t. I rather spend sometime on my own or with the computer.
Strange mentality neither do I know how to explain.
A few familiar people came to office today. They filled my days, felt so happy seeing them. Whenever they come they will like greet me ask me how am I doing and then we will like chat along the way. Thanks guys..
Free ice dessert muhahahaz.. Ate 2 at once.
My stomach is unwell since last night but then I am still eating junk food.
I am going to stop myself from eating chocolate, biscuits and those heaty oily foods.
Yes from now on…
** I miss you. Message you yet there is no reply at all.haiz. **
Can we like get back together?
Here I am dreaming again.
It all over…. Everything is like a bubble being poked into the air.
Stop dreaming on there nothing possible now.
Argh!
I feel like going for a holiday now. Anywhere even Malaysia just wants to get out of Singapore and have some other air from other countries.
8th June 2006**blogged on thurday.
No more prata.
No more people fetching me after my training.
No more people to go clubbing with.
No more..no more..~~
YC is enlisted to Ns.
He wouldn’t be able to fetch me after my training.
We wouldn’t be having prata session during late nights.
We wouldn’t be able to go clubbing at Clarke quay.
There will not be someone who will just call and ask :
“ Wei want go out now ma. Let go chill out go for coffee..”
“Wei let go swim together go play basketball..”
…………..
Haiz..
As If he is going somewhere far..well he is just enlisting to NS argh!!!
Very fast he be out..
BMT for 3 weeks POP le then being post out to other camp le.
If it 8 to 5pm work then we be able to come out again..
Yesh all be soon over…
I been always a younger sister to him.
Although not a real sister but he treat me like his own sister.
He helps me to the maximum.
Never complain on how much he help me. .
He is always there.
Never be calculative with me. We are like very easy with money or whatever de.
Accompany go chiong, go drink go everywhere. He will just drive me there without asking any single thing.
Ever since the first day I know him we been quite closed ba..
L0lz..why am I saying all these? As if he is going not coming back anymore..Wahahahaz..
Stooooopid mE.
Just want to say Thanks to him. Greatly appreciate the things he done for me.
I treasure the friendship a lot.
Not much friends can do these stuff. not much friends willing to spend the time and effort too.
those who know what this sentence means will know what I meant.
No worrries YC. Very fast be over. You be going uni oversea..become a master student..chao yue wo.
Come out we go club go chiong till crazy!!!
Go in train hard get rid of ya tummy hahaz Let me have a chance to see you in fit fit figure. tkcaRE wor!!! =)
** a friend who is always here to0**
Where were you when skies were grey
6/19/2006 10:12:00 PM <3
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