** it blog was type from morn 11am till 1130pm...took the whole day to write..from omrn wrote theis blog till afternn went out came hm then continue again..**
2005 has ended. Finally it came to an end.A year with laughter fun sadnessåªany things happening. Which made mi so upset and happy. Well nevertheless I want to forget the unhappiness and things that happen in 2005 and move on to 2006.A brand new year , a brand new starting. May everything goes well smoothly for me , my frens and family.
Before i would go on to how i welcome 2006 mayb i summarize on 2005. although it has ended but pardon me. relationship: thanks big bear and samuel. thanks for rejecting me.* you guys might think im crazy but im not..* mayb we could only be good friends and not anything more then that. well i should treasure you guy as it is. i dont want to lose a friend just like this. well thanks for being there for me always. appreaciated! it so long since we met meet up some time later okokie? keep in touch .sorry ZZ i rejected you coz i dont know too. mayb you are not the tps of guys iam going for ba. you will find a better gal **that wat gal always says i know** well u treating me good thanks as for andy im sorry. rejected you too. well sorry no reason to it. mayb that the retribution of me rejecting pple and pple rejecting me.
friendship: nice knowing manfred xiong guan randy samuel andy ..n more this year.. you guys really been a good friends to me.you guys brought sweet memroies to my life. but they are short really damn short. some how some wat smthign happen that draft us apart. haiz. ** sweet things also ends fast.**
wat more do i hv to say i dont know also.
met jonathan on the 30th of dec 2005. the last 2nd day of decemeber. i was readin the papers and found out that there was this year end factory books at expo. was wanting to go to the bk fair badly. the first moment i thought of him..since he wanted to meet me so long ago why nt ask him whether he was interested to go .after a few sms he agree and we agreed to mit 6 clememti mrt. he was late due to work. 640 then he reached...haiz poo rmi have to wait ther patiently who ask mi to date him out. he stare at the ring on my finger and say if i was attached coz he was curious.."no" was the answer from me.he stare at me all along the way trying to make eye to eye contact but i din want to .i jus ingore him. along the way he was telling me, he has to go down bugis after he accompnay me to the book fair because some of his "kids" are in deep trouble he has to go down the place to settle the matter. i told him to go down first if he wans and he continue." well it okay i have my brother there with them there are a total of 40 plus pple they should settle the thing without me". he was in a gang kinda thing. he says lotsa stuff abt his gang he is incharge of wat n stuff.. i dont want to repeart what he said. after 4 years..4 years has passed after we ended our relationship. our relationship lasted 4 months.. and after 4 years he is stil unchanged. he is stil proud think highly of himself.not worth pple respect. when will he change? i left him because i could tolerate eveyrthing of him. loving a person you should tolerate give in n stuff but i could. the day we broke up. after we broke up there was this period of time, he threathen mi.he wanted to ask mi out to settle and ask sm gals to find mi and find me trouble.he wanted to hang pig head on my door. he wants to find me trouble and stuff.. it haunted me for some time that everything made my life worse. i was leaving in fear. till i know sm fren who stood up for me. and everything was settle. things was as bad as.....[dontknow what also] i was so scare afriad of every where i go. but everything ended finally. everything resume. my life was back again..the reason why i meet him..why?? i asked myself after i left him for home.from expo. why?? i tot he has changed i tot i will c a brand new him. give him a chance??no..i told msyelf before afetr i break there will be no more patching back le. he disappointed me..he has become a heavy smoker. he is becomign worse no changed at all..athe whole trip out we din talk more then 20 sentence ba as in the trip in expo. i was searching for the books i wan n he was looking ard. he said i have changed....well pple do changed...i changed for the better what abt you then..have you changed??no chances of pathcing le..no longer...i have grown up all i want it a stable a loving caring bf..can you be one?? no...you are not financil stable..not everythign stable..sorry u r nt the one for mi..im nt the one for you either.
Yeah...let move on...!! forget what has happen!!=] Yesterday 31 dec 2005 ..the last day of 2005..New year eve!! had lifesaver traning in the mornign from 930 till 1 plus. there was achievement obtained from this traning..very happy with myself. my freestyle have finally make it although still nto ervy good swam all the way...learn surface dive.. and more..everythign went well for me..smooth and nice...best achieve that i have achieve in 2005..isnt tat great? congrat me hahahz. guess i been in the wter for too long i was sneezing all the way after i shower. was having flu and fever. my body was weak....im getting sick i gues congrat me !!! lolz...**crazy**suppose to go ah ma hse and collect sm stuff but i was too tired therefore headed hm...wash my swimming clothing and stuff then sat in fornt of com. wanted to go to bed and there goes my hp was ringin..it from ZZ he finally booked out from camp le.we was happily palnning the programming tonight. dinner form hong ke to hans at far east and then to marine square..hahahz..end up we agree to mit at city hall and head to marine sq for dinner. dinner was great at hANs. alot of pple but yet we manage to grab a sit. after dinner we walked around marine square..went lotsa shop not to said levi. sw the jeans i wannted so badly it cost 99.50.evry ex lo no money so dont wnan c also..haha . ohya before moving to levi we wenyt to this shop named" absab" i think dunno also haha it opps levis there is this saleman who is so handosme lo hahahz....crazy gal!well went round and round to look at clothes.nothing special actually. went 7 eleven to buy some stuff and headed to the place outside esplande.. there was lotsa pple..countless heads. sp many pple shouting playign raound..evryone was awaiting to watch the friework at 12mn. hahaz the fevtial mood was there..needless to said..ZZ ZZ sis me nic n andy was there enjying too. we took lotsa crazy pics muhahahz.. all kinda..ll post it up when i recive it..in the next enrty ba lolz..so fun!!! whooo~ there was so count down as in "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1.." the friework jus shoot off...it was so damn nice..rally nice..i tell u guys what..it so nice to c with ya nake eye...the moment the firework started it just attracts you so much that you wouldnt want to tk ya eye off or took at other stuff... the pics which ple took can only take it as a memories.the real thing is the most impt thing that can make you really think of it in your mind.everything was so wonderfu. i nv miss any firework in singapore. the past few firework in sigapore i was with my ex bfs,,,this time round with freinds..kinda different right?hmm.. the firework lasted for 10 minds..everything ended..the crowd was desiping.everyone was making their way to the busstop or mrt hm.. needless to us..we too.we make ourway to the esaplne then to the city hall mrt..we took the long way. the road there was closed and we will like...wow! the whoel road is ours..damn fun..BUT there smthing that made me teared...i really teared but it was a short one. i couldnt control my that few tears ..i hear the song..the music from the speaker.the music flows into my ear. i rml...memories starts flooding onto my mind...yesh..this music was wrote by him. i rml..he told me before he sang to me..he told mi he was proud of his own music.hes band played well.but there was no chance of promoting his album i donnt the reason mayb i forgottten. i knew him 5 6 yrs ago. that year he was terminate with brain cancer..he was disapointed with himself. his gf dump him but he trieds hard to retries the relationshiip. i was there he shared with thing with me. he seldom goes out due to his sickness. all he does is stays at hm and plays ard with his com. sometime he feel so upset taht his mood is so down that he doesnt wanst to talk to any body. well there was once he told mi after his check up the doctor says that he has 1/2 a yr more to go ..that its. i really rtreasure the times together till the day he apart. i mis him. he suddenly left. ..the music last night made mi think of him tat i tear again.hate msyelf itwas supose to be happy isnt it so..why it ened up like this?the band was playing singing there. i should have turn back and walk back to where the band was performing.mayb they are selling their alubm there. i should have turn back mayb he was alive he was there to sing.. i should have....i should have..everything too late...too late...i should have..i broke into tear..but what have.. i should have do it so that i would regret.haiz...
well on the way we took plently of pics..sqeeze our way to the mrt..there was tons of people lo..lolz..the awiting of the train was quite fast. thanks to andy he accompany me all the way hm..all the way to my door step..thanks man.. he was worries coz im a gal ma lolz..thanks really apprecaite.. there he took cab hm..i toldhim to call mi after he reach hm end up i slept the moment i lie on my bed. iw ok eup at3am took a look at my hp n saw his miss call...guess he was hm then went back to slp.. i din bother to call back too lazy le..moreover i was too tired..
i woke up at aorund 7 ..cant really get to slp.i was tired as in all i wanted was to lie on the bed and rest. i knew wat was happening ard in the house.but i cant get myself to stand out to get out of the bed. i regret for nt doing..force myself to get up then went online. ask andy to check for me the nformation on the band which was playing n singing last night it was called the "vertical rush"...i was happy that he foudn it for me..thanks ...relaly thanks..i appreaciate it..i really do..everytime when im in need of help you help me without any thign in returtn..thanks you really pu tin the effort to help me..ic an feel it..thanks you a great fren that i mus really say...
went for religious class today then went tampines mall to walk ard..went all kinda cd shop to look for the cd but to no vaild..haiz..disapointed really disapointed. .i was feelign weak i dont know why. jus hv a urge to come back hm ..nt to rest but jus do what ever i wan to do. to lazy to walk ard.i could not find the dress i wan the jean i wan n the skirt i wan..eveything was bad..my mood was down really down..can comeon cheer me up??tml holiday...wgere shld i go??
suppose to go zoo today but then it was cancel...luncily we din go coz raining ...suppoes to go tml but then no news frm the guys yet..haiz..ll blog again..
Where were you when skies were grey
1/01/2006 11:33:00 PM <3
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