I wan say it out. ~ People who are reading my blog u can choose not to read it coz it going to be a silly blog I guess.
I want to say it out coz I know HE wun come and read my blog also.
Just let mi say it out maybe I will feel better maybe.
I may be being kpo or whatever but please u can choose to ignore it.
There was this one day that I came across a secondary sch mate blog. We have been frens for like 7 years le ba.been in the same class n stuff. Frenzy which stood by each other. The reason that drifts us apart was because she retain during her Sec 4 I think. Well thing still goes well. We still keep in touch nowadays. Saw her a few times.
Hmm as I was blogging I can’t across her link. There was this particular blog Name.
hmm there I go click on it n found an interesting blog.
The blog webby was quite normal was attracted me was that he is into photography. Took a look at the pictures that he has in his blog. Was so much attracted to it.
Wow.i found someone who loves photography and sport. Was thinking who is guy could be. Coz there was pics with lots guys.n0 guess was made by me surprisingly.
For the next few days I was thinking whether to msg him. Thinking wills he reply and will we be frenzy. Will he make frenzy with a normal gal like mi?
Took up the courage after those few days msg him in his link and guess wat.
He added mi in msn. [I left him my add ya].
Was so surprise. Well so elated that things turn out to be different. Turn out to be opp of wat I tot.lolz.
We chatted. Things went well.
The 1st time we met was at hg bball court. He was the 1st guy that made mi talk n laugh during the 1st meet. Surprise uh?
Well we played. Short period of time but then I enjoyed it. Really enjoyed.
Attracted to him in sm sense that he was friendly n stuff.
--
We chatted through sms and msn....it brighten up my days. I was like I found a great fren isn’t it.
Hahaz.hmm things went smoothly.
The next meeting that we went was actually his fren chalet.
That’s the time where I travel by his bike. Was it that time. I think so hahaz
Hmm c0ol right. Was grabbing hold of his shirt ha-ha. But then grabbing him on the waist was a better idea ha-ha. Was so afraid of falling down.hmm fall off the bike when he was doing a turn lolz.but nhting serious happen la.
Hmm it was great he din mind mi tagging along.
ohya it was a Friday night I mit him 720pm at hg cc. hmm at changi chalet.
Everything was great as promise he was there to entertain mi talk to mi.making fun of each other.l0lz.had a great time. He keeps hold to the time coz he knew that I have curfew I can’t go hm late. Very nice of him right.
Miss that day.
Where else we went? We went marine the other time. To shop after getting his bike repair. We went safra to swim. We went kovan to eat ice cream. We went bishan to watch movie ytd.
Hmm but things dun seem like last time. We no longer chat in msn that much. We dun sms each other good m0rning we dun msg each other in the lunch reminding each other to eat lunch telling each other hw busy we are.
Where are the days? Can I have it back please???
Hmm return mi.
The silly things that I did were I told him . Well I really like him.im serious.
I nv told a guy I like him at all. I nv. I was confirming abt the feeling that is inside mi.
Why I did that? Im surprise myself. But I NV regret of doing that.
But well his reply was depending on fate ba. C how things goes.
I agree with him. It kind of fast but then im not in a hurry too. Jus letting him know hw I feel maybe?? Was it all I wan? I asked myself.
I have been upset. I don’t know if the action causes everything to be like this.
I which I have nv done that. Or wat else should I do .im nt sure either.
I did silly things…silly things like I waiting for him to be online in the last night. Staring at the phone each mins to wait for his sms. Hoping to c him call or sms which is impossible.
I was doing silly things.isnt it?? Im turning 20 why would I do that??
Does love make one’s to be like this?? Im not sure. That what my fren says.
Love blind ones. Making one’s do stuff that is stupid n silly but she herself doesn’t know.
Hmm it true uh?
Till now, the feeling is still in me. But then he dun feel so same.
A few times when I go out with him. He keep talking abt his ex. I’m not jealous is just that it tells mi that he hasn’t forget abt his ex. He still loves her??
I’m not sure. Just making a guess.
He still hoping to go back to her??
Or was he not really for a relationship?
He just wants to make tons of money.
He dun wan to commit to anything. Or??
Im making guess ya stupid guesses. I don’t know the true ans only he does.
These could be the possible reason.
These things have been depressing mi but it just that I din shows it out ba. Carrying hope in myself. Telling myself that things might turn out to be myself.
Telling myself that we still frenzy now isn’t that great?? Telling myself we remain like this isn’t that great??
Lying to myself deceiving myself.
I cant do anything to him also I can only support him can only date him out when I can n when he can make it like ytd..
Jus want to c him travel by his bike can hold on to him. Knowing tat he is around. I am happy enough.
Is this wat I wan... is this wat im really tinking abt’?
I’m not sure myself.dunno again.
All I can say is don’t know wat else.
Was visiting my fren webbie jus nw click on a link which says I din except to be him. I told it could be someone else.coz Singapore so big there so many Sam.
But then it turn out to be him…yes him again.
It was link to his old blog…not the one which I saw not the one that I mention previously.
…I read every single post…every single post…spend hrs. Stupid uh but I did. It.
I saw a different him from the old blog n the blog that I have been dropping by.
He used to blog frequently. He used to be out with frenzy.
In his blog he seldom talk abt his ex but at time.
He is upset with his dad death. He is sorry to his mum. He wannna make tons of money.
He care abt his mum he love cooking. He loves dogs. He loves his bike. He goes for his license n feel so happy getting it.
He cares for his frenzy…so on. M I right???
He cannot get himself to get involve into a relationship now. he can spend his time doing more meaningful things. Is that right?? HaiZ. Tear dropping nw.im upset.
The “he” I know now is that after work he will go home play war craft 3. he ll go jog at hm at late night. He ll go swim when he has the mood to.other then that nthing much mayb I dunno him well but that wat I observe from my side of view.
Well I might be wrong.
Hmm if only he can give mi a chance.
It like going to be 4 yr since im really attached.nt countin the r/s with Jeff. It was like shit lo. His parent dins like mi then…. Dun wan to tok abt it anymore.
Well I like him but he dun like mi in return. Hmm wat is this?
Maybe life jus like that bad...
Accept it then running away from it.
Sometime getting oneself out from something and trying to get involve in another is hard. I know.
I reject pple b4... telling them u can find a better one. I’m not the one for you. Telling them give up ba.
Now pple is doing that to mi.retribution uh??
I dare not say much..Coz I…feel guilty to those I reject.hmm dun wan to hurt u.
That wat he says to mi too.
See that the points things that u says to other will reflect back to you.
He has a better future. He dun fall for mi.
Hmm why m I always like this.
When I get into a thing I try to get it. But then when im really into it I ill really get serious. Not g0od lei.
Hmm trying to change trying.
M I very selfish?? I’m trying to reflect on myself.
Can smone scold mi off ask mi to wake up.
I’m Hurts. Disappointed.
Life so meaningless.
I had been l0oking at the bright side. I do for the sake of myself.
That wat he told him. Do things for the sake of yaself dun do it for the sake of others? It pointless.
I remember!!
I dare nt except much as long as things turn out to be okay…okay in wat sense I dunno..
Hmm im elated enough..
This is from his blog :
[..Meeting is either too early or too late... Meeting you too early, I don't know how to love youMeeting you too early, I don't know how to treasure youMeeting you too early, there's a big gap between us that need time to get closerMeeting you too early, I still have so much dreams that you don't understand and acceptI would be asking myself why don't we meet later, everything will be different if we met later. Why didn't I met you later?Meeting you later, you had another person by your side. You said "Why didn't I meet you earlier?"I don't know how to answer..Meeting you too late, I had another person by my side. I said "I would love you if he never exist in my world, why didn't you appear earlier? If I met you two years ago, everythings will be different."You told me sadly "Two years ago, there's someone by my side."I realised that we had never met in the right time..Meeting you too late, let me understand what love is. I regret not giving you my first loveMeeting you too late, I will not love you like what I used to due to all the unsuccessful relationshipsIt would be so nice if we met at the right timing, everything will be so nice.....]
Love like you have never loved before, tells your loved ones how you feel towards them. Do not let the time overruns you. Bear in mind that it is not easy for the two of you to meet, please treasured what the god gave you
First time im going for the person I like..making the courage o do stupid stuff but it dun turn out to be good..l0lz..sillly ba..laugh all you wan..
I did it without regret..
All I can say is after so many failure in relationhship so many things that happen I manage to pull myself out. I manage to heal myself nt completey of coz. I manage to foorget I try to. I manage to be a 20th gal pursues my own happiness. As wat Alfred had said.
But I m hurt. Deeply hurt is it?
Will it heal?? Not sure.
Things will go well for mi de.m I right.
It just that I fallen for the wrong guy. Just that fate isnt here yet.. yah..
“callin out fate.. tell mi im right..”
I be okAY.
Where were you when skies were grey
10/25/2005 03:44:00 PM <3
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