i be typing for the past half an hr ..i din save...dunno wat button i press..the hwole thing went off...
hai zi hv to retype everyhting..
suckz..Z
promies to blog today so mus do it..cannot lie..else my nose ll grow long logn de..
hahaz..childish right hahaz..
im turing 20 soon...in a month time..
im planning to c if can celebrate it with my frenz..ZZZ
mayb go kbox..or have dinner together i be very happy but nt sure if thigns ll turn out the way i plan to be..else it be like last yr plan so nice yet end up slping at home..
well as long as my fren z can gatehr n celebrate for mi i be very glad le..
we c hwo to it ba..nt sure too.
ohya..turnign 20.
a fwe days ago was talking to mum...after geting my result i was telling her
"mum i be gradutign soon nx yr feb..."
"so wat do u plan to do??"
"i wanna go uni..mayb study pschologist"
"u sure??mayb u wanna go work for ya dad or go out work ba...i dun hv that mus money to let u study uni..u better go work.."
"hm...."silence filled the air..
"r u gogin to imply wat u hv learn when u go out work?? r u interested in the course?? wat will u do when u finsih uni??......."so on...
these question went thorugh my mind before..im thinking..
wat is goign to happen in the future is wat i cant perdict im nt sure myeslf ...wat gonna into the future?? wat ll i be?? wat will yuehui turn out to be in the future??
that the conversation betwwen mi n mum..
i dunnno wat to do also..
im thinking har.d.planning..thinking...im 20 i need to plan..im gettgin old..i nid to plan..no time to waste..
**saving my blog..before it gone ....im lazy to type again..
let talk about relationship ba..
ah long ask mi to be his gf..
jonathan ask mi for a patch..
jackson ask mi for a patch..
nearl ygot involved with a married guy...hmm let nt talk abt it..
i din accpet anyone of them..
well mayb u guys might be htinking..i been always saying.." im single noone wans.." but actually there pple wans mi..
its kinda liek i dun feel the sincerely in them..there no action onli words..
like even u [atch also no use..they onli smsm u in a blue moon..having bf also equal to no bf u c.
im nt loking for bf that spend no itme with mi...onli use sms to contact ..nv mit n stuff..
imlooking for a stable relationship...
i wnan smone to dotes on mi show concern n care..
i know there is there smone ther efor mi ..that J..he care for mi but i reject him..coz ther eno feeling..
sm says that..feeling can slowly grow..but i dun beleive in this kinda thing..
i dunw an to hurt pple i dun wan pple ot hurt mi too.
i dun wan to make myself upset..
i dun wan i dun know..
i wait for the right one to come..the one who will show action n prove to mi he nid mi..
i wait patiently no rush..
lolz..
happniess will come..if it coming..
ytd went bbq,with sam..
so nice of him o drive mi there n back..
he took note of the curfew i have...
know im afraid to fall off from bike ...ask mi to be careful n stuff..so nice of him..
he din mind mi taggin at all..thnaks..
thanks..his nice bunch of fren...
thanks..he is really a nice guy..
he send mi a song..."in chi..but the title is.."too bad its isnt u.."
by liang jing ru..
a very nice sad song..it like too bad it isnt u who i can share my happniess with u..
it remind mi of many thing...
but i been playing repeating since i receive the song..
stupid right sad song yet listenign it agai nn agin...
went to find the lysic n sang it again n again..
l0lz.
attachment been wuite okay..
lolz..rushign erport at time...rushing to do testing..
but overall stil okay la..
send ben n isman off at the airport..
well took little pcis today..they will not very "on" la..
forget it..went town with zhizhang n mit up with guyan manfred jimmy n 2 gal..sat at mac smoke eat drink..a outign which was planned a wk again..
nice miting them up..nt too bad la ratehr then i slp at hm..
lolz..
big bear went op recently..went to visit him 2 days..in the hospital..
NUH near NUS...hmm a 15mins trip from th eplace im working la..
nt too far..nt too bad..
well he doing well now..nt too bad..
glad to hear that his knee is okay til this moment..
hmm pass by the place where yongchuan xuemei n jeff..send mi to hospital..the a & e department saw the bed that i lie on ..saw the actually place..
saw jeff there caring fro mi..tat was all my imagineation..well everythign over,,i hv to let it go ...forget it..liek wat big bear said..
i hv to let it go ...dun let it upset mi any more..dun let it follow mi..
i hv to move on...
im trying trying..
but trying too har dcna change mi to0..taht wat he say..
haiz..
wat shld i do..
tml gonna work at downtown again..sianz..but no choic ela nid money no money to survive le..
from 1 to 10..plus..
haiz..
so tiring..
been feelign tired recently very easily tired..dunno why..
where demeng..it been days since he contact mi..eveyrone been busy...
where everyone...they busy with their own stuff lo..
haiz..
online also borin noone to chat with..
i pray har devrythign goes smoothly for mi..
family..
it seem liek a broken family of mine..
dad havent been talking nt a single word..when he step home..
i havent been talking when i get hm too.
im tired.nthgi to talk bat also.
the whole hs eis so quiet..
noone seem talking...everyone doing theit own stuff..mum ll scream here n there but noone care..
wat the hell is this..
haiz..
can smoen jsut kill mi..
m i relaly happy??
m i reallyw at i am..
m i erally doing wat i really watnna do ..
haiz..
stopping here..lazy to blog hahaz..ll update soon..
Where were you when skies were grey
10/08/2005 11:27:00 PM <3
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