fri again.one wk is abt to end...common test is drawing nearer..
--
i hate sch i hate everyone in my life.
i used to love sch wanna go sch meet my sch mates..after sch i will look my frenz up for basketball, coffee....etc..
i miss those time..
tear rolled down as i think back.
i cant control myself.
im so tired so helpesss..so lost..so dissapointted..
i wish a car can knock mi down.
kill mi ..i hate my life i hate every single thing..
where is our agreeemenet...where is the stuff we agree to do together...where is the promise we had for each other?? where ?? where???
where it went??
where did it go??
we agree to go to the gym once per week.
you agree to come over my side to play basketball, try out the court near my house..
we used to mit out at cafe..chatted u guy promise we will do that duing wkend once..or twice..
you promise you will allow mi to go out with ya bunch of fren.hang out with u guys...
u promise to bring mi along to sentosa play volleyball hang out ...
you promies to ask mi out for dinner..
you promise to drive mi ard..
you promise to play soccer with mi..
you said that u dun mind mi tagging along..with ya fren..you said that i could join you and ya fren for dinner for chatting at cafe..for sport...etc...
more more....you guys promise alot of thing..promise to go zoo
promise to go ubin with mi
promise to go jurong bird park
promies to go ice skating..
promise to go shopping
promise....
promisee..
[you =>refer to many pple]
promise...
ihate you guys...promise u guy promise...
saying was easy ...did u guy do it..
you guys gave mi promise n then dash it ..it hurt mi alot..
it jus like giving a child a balloon making her happy...c-ing a smile on her face then u burst the balllon..make her cry loudly...so hurting..
mayb u guy lll nv know this kinda feeling..
im tired..
im like all alone..
i been trying to be v understanding...to comfort myself...telling my self each time ..."im OK...OK"...im deceiving myself..
im tired...but it not like i wanna slp.....nt phsically tired but mentally..
im so sick..no mood to do anything..i wannna go to the beach i wanna go mnay places...But i dun wan to go or do alone...where my frenz..
u guy always say when i nid u guy when i nid compnay u guy will be there for mi ..but where u guy now????wherer!!!!! WHERE??? tell mi where.....
--
in sch i keep a smile on my face...not showing the upsetnesss in myeslf...not telling other im upset....not showing...
i dun wan other to know....if nt they aviod mi ..i dun wan to make them unhappy too..
it hard...im trying v hard to play along with htem joke ard...
haiz..this is one side of mi and the other side of mi..
they c this side of mi ...yet to c the other side..
haiz..
--
i havent been uttering a word..
i dun wish to talk ..
i dunno wat to talk..
i wanna go out play ..enjoy..
i wan my life back..
i htink im getting depression..
i try nt to htink so much.
i trying ..
im trying very hard...but ITS really VVVVV hard..
haiz m i complaining too much...
i dunno i hv noone to talk to..all i can it cry cry ..
that is why i wanna work also...work work study study noone ask mi out i wun ask pple out..coz im so tired of rejection....so tired...
then i dun think so much also..
haiz..
i dun wan to say le...tml going to rebond my hair but im nt happy at all...loking forward..to it but then dun feel anything...numb..
i really dun feel anything..
im going to bed..i wanna slp..
dun wan to say anymore or else i ll hurt more ppple...
nitez...
Where were you when skies were grey
7/08/2005 09:59:00 PM <3
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