havent been blogging..basically becoz i was lazy..
fyp all day long.its jus like being lock in a prison.dunno wat hapening outside.
well it also depend on hw u look at it ba.
u can c the seriousness of everyone which is show on their faces.u can also hear laughter n fun in the air.whenever there is a break we ll tend to joke n play ard.making everyone laugh.begin in the sam project room isnt that bad too.at time we ll walk ard go ard disturbing pple hahaz..passing food here n there...share it ard with one another..hard to describe but the feeling is there.
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"silence filled the air" it was thur evening i was so stress.wanted to play bball badly yet find noone to play with.without a second tot i told myself i wanna go down play n noone can stop mi.the court was empty.standing in the middle of the court.i could hear my own breathing n heart beat.everything was so nice.i dunno why i enjoyed this moment very much.
200 balls that i shooted within 130 balls went in..great achievement ba that wat i told myself.give a pat on my shoulder.told myeslf ":great job!"but then there was i struck i knew my arm cant go on anymore.i was to stop from playing any sports yet ....i force myself trying to wescape from the truth ba..that was many pple ll say.but then i acpet it le..nt that dun wan to face it but that the fact.i dunno theres goes my arm it seem like droppping onto the floor im nt jking..tears rolled down my cheeks.i was in dep pain.wish smone is there to help mi.stood there like a puppet.cant move at all.told myself to b stonrg n force myself to shoot.but there is goes air ball.i had to stop really had to stop.its getting late.took my balls n bid goodbye to the court.
its din get any better.i din told mum or anyone i know i gonna get a bad scolding if i told her.i kept silence noone knew anything.keeping in my heart is the best ba.
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results out nt very gd not happy with my results@at all.
jobless nw.looking for job nw lo.sick of working but no choice if i dun work it ll add on to my family burden.
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ytd friday i wsa suppose to mi ***** at bugis.we plan to hv either movie or dinner together.i was so eager to mit him.i was well dress*i guess.despite having fever i stil told myself i ll go down n mit him.rush all the way down.the moment when i was reaching my destination, he msg mi n told him he sitl at his fren hse i stunned.everything changes..my mood changes the colour of my face changes.he said he b here late n ask if i ll wait for him.well i hates to wait for pple moreover by the time he comes down we ll jus hv a quick meal n i ll hv to go off..nt worth it at all.i told him dun bother then.sadly i went hm.i was so disaapointed.hate pple who do this to mi.
came hm n rotted online.nothign much
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sat today this saturday.here im at hm almost the whole day.unbelieveable i planned to go out de.
but the same prob occured..where my frens?
msg a few fren last night they said they were n free.wat can i say.
well big bear went hse warming.i cant always hang out with him also.where my own frenz? why does pple has their own fren why pple hang out every wk with their own big grp of fren? why does pple hv fun can enjoy during wkend. why why n why here im facing all these shit.
i dunno why. do i relaly hv fren i dunno wkend sucksss..i dun lok towards wkend.every fren that i ask out they rejects mi ...im tired relaly very tired..who can understand? who can feels wat im goign through.i dunno
here a msg to edison!!!
look carefully!!!
"dun always assume u know mi every well u r wrong.dun always say im petty always hated u. please lo dun always look at pple at ya point of view dun alwasy hurt other.u ll not even know when u hurt pple.no point hurting pple heart DEEPLY n then apologise to them..it pointnes.s.dun think that everything u do everything u think its right..please lo.dun think u cr cool dun think u r handsome n pple ll do anythign for u ..comeon.pple has their own way of doing thing pple has their style they dun need u to b there to hurt them criteria abt them.if u dun like a person tell him striaght dun always give other the way idea of thinking.n please lo i dun like u at all.luckily i n u are nt toegtehr if nt i think sonner or later we ll break up.luckily we did nt waste anyof our time.thanks for nt giving me nay chance.thanks.i know i hv no beauty no sense of dressing but i dun need ya hurting word n pity thanks hor.if u r sincere of being a person fren u ll b always there caring n showing concern n nt iubn ya that style..i tolerate engh.dun always b so proud i seem engh of u.hate mi as u wan i dun give a damn..."-
im nt someone that always tolerating always can give in always there acting like no body busniess.10q
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im very cruel right i dun care lo i tolerated engh time to let it out.im shit off.
life is ...i dunno hw to describe ba.haiz.i gonna go ...go play bball.
Where were you when skies were grey
4/23/2005 05:02:00 PM <3
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