has nt been updating sorry guys.
been busy with proj.styaing in sch each day til 8 9.to complete projs.
im soo tired.exhausted.boring when i couldnt find anyone to stay with mi lo.
sick of going to sch.sick of the bus journey.with no diseman with mi[spoilt].
all i can do it slp til it reaches sch.sianz..argh!!
i nid sm1 i nid my diseman i nid life.haiz.
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the final year proj list has been out.had a very big headache choosing proj mates n the topics that we wan.everything seem to go chaos.
xuemei n i was in a group n the thing was we had to chose another partner.
i chose jaime whereas she chose HB.the guy i chose she dunno.the guy she chose i also dunno.well mayb it was becoz i din really like china guys that y gt sort of attitude towards them lo..no offence.this matter lead to both of us have alot of tots in out mind yet dunno hw to voice it out to each other.finally she speak to mi one day.i was abt to open my mouth n speak to her too but she was 1st.we was sort of discussing lo.
till now, we decide to chose terence as our proj mate coz he wanna come over n has inform mi early in the 1st place to let him join our group lo..
well there pro n cons of choosing each member even myself is nt prefect to0.
i dunno i feeling very confused now. the distance between xuemei n i seem to draft further n further apart.we dun seem to communcaite like before.i no longer wanna ask her out coz im tired of her rejection le.soo tired..
in a single day we talk less then 10 sentence lo.
i dunno dun wanna think so much yet these stuff kept floating on my mind.
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NOW the thing is how m i going to tell jaime.that he has to find another group to join?? a very big headache..dunno hw to face him lo..
this afternn after sch was suppose to stay in sch to do wft proj as promise but i call him forgetting that he was having his mpi test lo.well sms him saying i was nt feeling very well so i went hm.we be doing it tml ba.
well actually i was having a slight headache lo.dunno lei.i dunno hw to voice it out to him.no face to face him lo.haiz hate this kinda situation lo.im the bad gal.BAD GAL!!!!!
been waitin for him online but til now almost 9 le he is stil not online lo i waited for like 4 hr le.haiz..wat should i do?? im really very sorry.
y muz i do thing without gg through my brain..stupid mi!!
no use blaming myself now is to solve the prob haiz.
can someone jus slap mi or beat mi to awake.
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my shoulder kiling me.the sickness is back again.cant stand it.
all day long either im keeping quiet or smiling or jking or laughing away.
im rreally very tired..tat nt mi at all.
keep telling pple "ïm OK"when im nt OK. i was jus sort of comforting them.y m i doing all these.? i dun understand it myself to0.
there so many things i nid fren care i nid concern i was someone to love mi.
is everything so hard..mayb i shouldnt complain there pple out there like mi too..or even worse them mi ..haiz..
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3 more porj to do.
proj gg to be due.
i promise myself to finish it by this wk.no matter wat i muz finish lo.chiong all the way n it ll be time to study for my exam le.
every time i m at the lib my heart pound ll increase by 4 times.scare that tins ll happen.doctor told mi it bad for my health.but i cant stop it ..haiz..jus hope i wun be alone there nid my frens where they.arGH!
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told myself it time to change le.
was i really changing or was i sying..i dunno
think i was like doing nothing abt it.
he said he be waiting for my change.
he said he is used to being single.
he said he is sorry for hurting mi.
all i said was "its OK. im OK. nt ya fault.
but actualy deep in my heart i was hurting like a sword gg through my heart lo.
blood flowing out.onto everywhere.
told him "time ll heal.time ll heal very thing.time ll let one forget everything".
wat all these bullshit.
dunno why i said all these.stupid right.
well told him we be best fren.it better to be best fren then emeny lo..look at the brighter side i ll feel better ba.
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Where were you when skies were grey
2/20/2005 08:17:00 PM <3
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