long time since i blog.was was buzy muaching into my lecture notes,my revision.
let start from last wk.it was a study break.from mon to fri i been goin school for extra lesson,revise.make up lesson.most of the time been studyign for the common test which was this week.i studied so hard wishing to score well.at least get some good marks.i told myself to work hard.give in wat i can.i believe i can do it n i ll do it. i told god to bless mi as i work hard.
i stayed up late to study but went to bed whenever i was tired.din force myself as i know its no point.unluckily i fall sick on thur or friday.there was fever..slight fever.itchy throat.feel the urge that i was getting sick.drunk myself with plently of water..bottles after bottles,prayign hard that i ll get well.but i was wrong.i had bad headache dizzy higher n higher fever.
wkend passes very quickly n it was monday.MTA paper.i msg ben on sunday to go to sch early to help mi revise a bit and he agreed.mit him at midec.he shoots mi question n told mi some things.i was well prepared.i guess.more confidence. was nervous n scared.i was running fever.i was feeling so terrible.yet i told myself i ll make it.
the paper started as fast as i knew it.the moment i flipped through the paper n read through it.nightmare strike mi.the question wa slike so diffcult.i wa totally stun.i told myself no matter wat im going to write in all the things i know.give in my knowledge of wat i been taught n dun let it go down the drian.took my pen n quickly wrote down v things tat i memorize.time passes quickly, i couldnt finish answering at all.there is come a hand n the paper is snatch away from mi.i knew i m wither going to fail or score badly.i dunno.i was feeling so dizzy at that time.feel like fainting.vomitting the feeling was so terrible.thanks to big bear ted.he msg mi all the way til im home.afraid that i might faint in the bus.safely i was home.ate pandol n started studying for my tues paper,wft.wft was so called "the best sub" to mi as i find it interesting.well was so tired my fever went up to like 38.5degrees.@ard 12plus went2bed n woke up early int he morn ard 7 to study.went to sch n got ben to revise again with mi.i wsa having a bad flu.cough n sneezing.plenlty of tissue was used up.toilet paper t0o. was so sick wannan give up. walked to the exam classroom. smile at each of them i walk to my seat.be4 i started the paper i told g0d.i study v hard bless mi. the paper was quite okay.but stupid thing was.some question was so easy that i cant think of the ans til i left the room.i purposely studied for it yet..,......my mind was blank.wat happening...v one left the classroom after 45mins has passed.leaving mi alone in the classroom writing the room was so quiet..filled with the sound of my cough n sneezing.the lecturer stared at mi.i did nt give up til the end.when the lecturer says time up. i give in my best le.had radio to accompany mi home.we chatted on the bus that make the journey faster.i cried ...cried out..when i was bathing.y was i so stupid.
tot i ll feel better but nope i din.stopped crying pat myself n told myself to be strong.went to iron clothes sweep mop floor..n then get back to my paper again which was MPI.i was runnign fever again at 38.6degree.ate 2 pandols.felt better.
this morn woke up at 7 n study. was so tired.feeling terrible.the nx time i knew my bose was bleeding.n there i was vomitting.haiz.
took a rest n went to sch.the sun was so humid tat it ll be nice if im at senotsa sun-tanning.haiz..=< told myself i ll make it.mpi should be quite easy.i wenty for revision class n study for it.to my surprise, the paper was damn difffcult.i give in my best le.i really dunno wat to do.im totally break down.took bus hm with song quan n ben.after both of them alight i broke into tears.be4 tat i was laughing happily with them.haizz wat the hell happen to mi.met aferld at kovan for dinner.make a nice fren chris. a very nice gal to tlk to.also a senior of mine of NP.sometime happen between this miting.i dun wish to say as it hurt mi alot.
m i really ugly? y m i also push away or chase away by pple becoz of my looks?im so upset.jus tat i dun said it..forget it wat the point of saying it here,who can understand who im feeling.haiz.
fri there is another paper..FCS despite all these diappointment in the past few days.im goign to work damn hard for this paper.in order to heal my heart.
well actually i hv lots more to say.mayb tml then update im damn tired nw..
Where were you when skies were grey
2/02/2005 10:32:00 PM <3
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